The Secret Life of My Mom

Written by Jolea Brown on .

As Mothers Day approaches I am understandibly nostalgic and just plain missing my mom who passed away suddenly two months ago. It has definately been hard to know I cant call her anytime and hear her voice. I actually saved a few of her voice mails to me just so I could hear it every now and again.
She was a beautiful caring woman who always wanted to take care of other people - So it was no suprise to go through her things and find She had saved all of the smallest details from the people she loved. I found matchbooks from weddings 40 years ago, letters from family when she lived out of state for a brief time, trinkets from her small adventures away from home. The stuff she kept from my childhood was amazing, every menial award or accomplishment was treasured as if gold -  medals, dental records, baby books with my locks of hair and every first (yes, first successful pottie time written down in detail, really mom?) And it is just overwhelming to know how much she loved me and all of her family.
What was also a wonder to me was all of the photos, some carefully kept in sleek albums, others mixed in boxes with bobby pins and old batteries. This was her whole life - a lot of it I wasnt even there for - and it was so amazing to see my mom as these different 'non-mom' people. Photos of her as a baby, teenager, young wife, party girl, sister and daughter. I love that she kept these and am so appreciative that she kept MY photos for so many years, so that I can see my own life through her eyes. I was a cute baby, surly teenager, young wife and am a somewhat competent adult.
These photos passed on from generations tell us not only where we came from, but who we are as a whole.
 I am so glad that a couple of years before my mom died, I made her , yes MADE her, let me take photos of her and my stepfather. She was resistant at first but once she got in front of the camera she was hamming it up, acting silly, trying sexy and goofy faces, she even bit my stepdads ear. (It had been a looong time since I had seen them flirt like that). Now I have those photos and they are among my most treasured possesions.
I feel like now, through these images and the ones she left me, I can visit her whenever I want. She's not just a memory. She's right here.
Happy Mother's Day Mom - I love you.

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